


Lovelorn

by Thelittlescrimshaw



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, F/M, I am Reylux Trash, I will see myself to the Sin Bin where I belong, M/M, Multi, Reylux - Freeform, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, established reylux, pranks gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 15:59:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6913783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thelittlescrimshaw/pseuds/Thelittlescrimshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four sentences. Twelve words. And General Brendol Hux's world has been, yet again, flipped upside down. <br/>(Damned Force users can’t just leave things as they are.) </p>
<p>Oneshot, Reylux, crack-with-serious-undertones. </p>
<p>(AKA, "what happened if Rey told Kylo and Hux she was pregnant" fic).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovelorn

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I'm trash. Total fucking trash caught in the ninth layer of Fandom Hell - that's where they stick the shippers. 
> 
> (I'm not sorry.)

Hux stares at the datapad transmission with growing horror, Kylo Ren peering over his shoulder. Hux can feel Kylo’s breathing quicken; Hux does all he can to keep his calm.

They may be fucking, but the constant push-pull of one-upmanship is the foundation that their relationship is built on and Hux will be _damned_ before he lets it go.

They’ve been staring at the message for way too long; it’s small, simple, really, and reads:

_Bren –_

_I’m pregnant. Be ready at six to discuss. Bring Kylo. I’m sorry._

_-Rey._

Four sentences. Twelve words. And his world has been, yet again, flipped upside down.

(Damned Force users can’t just leave things as they are.)

General Brendol Hux, III clears his throat and, for the first time in five minutes, dares to look at Kylo Ren. The man’s still staring at the message, as if mesmerized by the words. His hands are clenching the desk, and Hux can imagine the white-knuckled grip underneath his gloves. There’s something on the man’s face – _hope,_ Hux realizes dimly; Kylo Ren looks _hopeful._

Hux clears his throat again. Kylo drags his eyes away from the message. The two men share a long, heavy look for a moment, and then –

“It’s yours,” General Hux says, at the same time Kylo Ren is saying, “It’s mine.”

Hux averts his eyes. Kylo Ren seems almost confused, as if he’d was preparing to fight Hux for paternity. He frowns. “You are certain?”

“No,” Hux admits. He hasn’t been certain of a godforsaken thing since the walking human disaster and his apprentice had crashed into his life. Hux doesn’t even care if Kylo can sense the sentiment – it’s _true._ Before, Hux knew his place in the galaxy. Now Kylo-fucking-Ren, crazed Jedi Killer Extraordinaire has thoroughly fucked that up.

Hux shudders to think what the man would be like as a father.  

Kylo Ren frowns. “I’d be good.”

_“Out_ of my head, Ren.”

“You’re projecting,” Kylo sneers. “And I’d be good.”

Hux massages is temples, mentally adds this situation to the list of Shit the General Has To Deal With. “One of us will have to be, evidently.” He’s opening forms on his holopad, thinking out loud. “She’ll need proper prenatal care, of course – an updated contraceptive chip -  and will have to be taken off of the mission roster once she’s showing – say, three or four months’ time – she’ll probably be better off staying on the second base during the last trimester, there are maternity wards there.”

Kylo is staring at him, mouth agape. Hux feels a flash of irritation. “What?” he snaps.

“You have all of that planned?”

Hux arches an eyebrow. “It’s standard procedure for pregnant officers.” And of _course_ he would begin planning it – someone had to take care of their girl.

“So you’re going to _send her away?_ ” Kylo’s hand is hovering over the hilt of his saber.

Hux glares. “If you destroy my quarters, _Ren,_ I’ll have you personally removed from this system.”

Kylo begins pacing, his robes flaring out behind him. He would cut a more impressive figure in one of the military-issue greatcoats, but he insisted on emulating his grandfather as much as possible – down to the Sith costume. “You can’t just – send her off! Rey won’t have it, she’ll –“

“She’ll make that decision when the time comes,” Hux tells him. “She’s hardly a typical officer, but this would be the – well, the _second_ most logical option.”

“And the first would be?” Kylo snaps. He’s irritated. He reminds Hux of a temperamental cat, the sort that would lash out at you for looking at it wrong, the only tell of irritation the flick of its tail.

Hux heaves a great sigh. He looks at Kylo, wonders if he should even divulge this information to him. Hux is nothing if not a practical man, and situations like this require a practical mind.

“She might not intend to keep it,” Hux says, keeping his voice as indifferent and clinical as possible. “And that would be the most practical.”

“You’re saying that about _my own –“_

“Do _you_ want to raise a child in the middle of war?” Hux cuts Kylo Ren off, not willing to let him finish the sentence. “And we do not know its parentage. You’re getting awfully attached to this hypothetical paternity, Ren.”

“Of _course_ I am!” Kylo snarls. “I just don’t understand why she’d tell us if her intention is to –“

“She told _me,”_ Hux reprimands him. “And quit being so selfish. She’s probably overwhelmed and needs guidance.” Of course she wouldn’t want to keep it – Rey was twenty, in the middle of her training, and the galaxy was war-torn. The woman was nothing but practical, young as she was. “So if you could look at this situation objectively, that would be great.”

They’re engaged in a staring contest; finally, Kylo looks away. It is only in the matters of Rey’s well-being that Hux ever truly wins. “You’re awfully unattached.”

“I’m looking out for Rey’s best interest.”

“But what if it’s _yours?_ ”

“That doesn’t change what would be _best for Rey.”_ Best for all of them, really, and best for the _galaxy_ if it carries and of Kylo Ren’s genetics. There was too much Skywalker blood wreaking havoc as it was.

“She wanted a family,” Kylo mumbles, looking away. “She told me.”

“Like this?” Hux challenges. He knows how desperately Rey craves security, how she’s ever-hopeful, scrappy as hell, and ready to take on the world. “She’s t _wenty,_ Ren. This,” he makes a gesture, “Entire situation is not ideal.”

“We could make it work,” Kylo says. “Don’t act like you haven’t thought of it.”

Hux shoots Kylo a look baleful enough to kill. “Stay _out_ of my thoughts, boy.”

“We could bring them on board,” Kylo says. “It’ll be a force-sensitive kid –“

“I am _not_ entertaining your spawn on my ship – “

“We could all raise it. I could train him – or her – and you could– “

Hux _really_ doesn’t want to do this, but Kylo’s domestic fantasies have gone too far. “Do you think your precious _Supreme Leader_ will allow your child to remain unmarred, _Ren?”_

And Kylo falters; Hux doesn’t need the Force to know that any of his carefully-constructed glass castle fantasies have shattered. Hux is not a stranger to Snoke’s sadistic training, wonders why Kylo even puts up with him, but that is a political discussion for another time. Hux knows – as well as Rey – that Kylo is beyond damaged from Master Snoke. Most of the scars are invisible, but…

The first time he and Rey had seen Kylo Ren naked had been heartbreaking. His entire body was covered in scars.

Hux never questioned the man’s decision to wear long robes and gloves ever again.

“He can’t know.” Kylo looks desperate. “Snoke – it’s yours. Even if it’s mine, Bren, it _has to be yours._ ”

Kylo Ren’s desperation is real. Hux pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Just – don’t get ahead of yourself. Wait until Rey returns. We’ll discuss it then.”

It is the longest four hours of his life.

Kylo Ren can’t concentrate, can’t do _anything_. Rey – _his_ Rey, _their_ Rey – is pregnant. Kylo Ren can’t name the feeling inside him– _anticipation? Excitement?_ – but he’s consumed by it. He knows Hux is coming from a position of practicality – termination would be _practical,_ sure – but –

Kylo knows how fiercely Rey wants a family someday. She wants to live on a planet that’s green, much like Takodana.

He also knows how careful she is with contraceptives – he knows she doesn’t want that family _now,_ but...

He knows Hux had thought of it, felt the man projecting from the moment he’d read the message. He saw the kid has having auburn hair and green eyes, living on one of the bases, occasionally on the _Finalizer._ And Hux could afford to have such a fantasy, Kylo thinks bitterly – _his_ child wouldn’t be used to further Snoke’s agenda. Sure, Rey would pass on her Force-sensitivity, but if they could pretend that the child was just Hux’s, not Rey’s, train it in secret…

But Snoke would know. He _always_ gets what he wants, in the end.

Kylo curses, slams his fist into the wall. He’s pacing around his quarters, desperately trying to find a scenario where this situation plays out in his favor – _regardless_ of the child’s parentage. As far as Kylo’s concerned, if it’s Rey’s, it’s his. It’s _theirs,_ the three of theirs, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

_You could kill Snoke,_ and there it is, that traitorous thought in the back of his mind. It’s been there for months now, lingers as a primordial thought, but…

Now there is reason. Now there is cause.

His child, Hux’s child – _Rey’s child_ – will not be used. The child will be strong without Snoke, will not need Snoke to carry on a legacy. Kylo Ren will personally see to that, that the child had proper guidance, proper training, proper _love…_

And there it is: it’s barely a clump of cells, barely even an idea, but Kylo Ren loves it already so _fiercely_ that he will kill the most powerful Sith in the galaxy to protect it. To protect _them._

Ultimately, he knows, it will be Rey’s decision. But he wants this, too, father or not. Hux will argue that Rey is young, and maybe she is – nine younger than Kylo and thirteen younger than Hux – but she’s smart, bright, practical, and if she wants this family Kylo will go through hell to let her have it.

His timepiece beeps, announcing that it’s six o’clock exactly, and he stalks out of his room to find them.

.

.

.

Rey grins to herself when a haggard-looking Hux walks into her quarters, followed by a disheveled Kylo.

This prank is already _so much fun._

She’s been cackling to herself all day, just thinking of their reactions. But when Hux opens a datapad and Kylo takes her hands in his, she thinks that maybe, she might have gone too far with this prank.

“It’s okay,” Kylo says, and his voice is unbearably gentle, and Rey’s gut sinks

She _has_ gone way too far.

“Your options,” Hux says, ever the clinical one, “are mainly – “

Rey shoots up. “Guys – _guys –_ it was a prank!”

The two of them blink at her stupidly. “Some _prank,”_ Kylo sneers.

Rey glares back at him. “That’ll teach you to _tell a ‘Trooper I was interested in him!”_

“That was Hux’s idea!”

“You helped!”

It is Hux’s laughter that draws them out of their confrontation. It’s growing louder, heartier, until he’s doubled over from it, slumped on the couch, tears in his eyes.

Rey looks at Kylo. Kylo glares down at her. “Look, you broke him.”

“I should’ve expected,” Hux chortles, “But you – that was _weeks_ ago – I thought you’d forgotten –“ he’s gasping for air.

This is quite a sight, seeing the General undone. Rey backtracks. “I’m _infertile._ Malnutrition, remember?”

Hux recovers, clearing his throat. “You _are_ a dark-sider,” he tells her, clasping a hand on her shoulder. “Well done.”

Kylo is still sulking. “That was unnecessary.”

Rey frowns at him. “If you’d have checked your messages, you’d know that it was a prank.”

Kylo opens his mouth, closes it again, and Hux grins wickedly. “I keep telling him to clear out his inbox.”

Rey smiles cheekily at the two of them. “I’ll accept my title as Darth Prankster.”

Kylo Ren glares at her. “Not funny, Rey.”

“I think she’s hilarious,” Hux says. He plops himself on the couch between them, arm slung around Rey. Rey’s glad that at least _he’s_ taking it good-naturedly – and how could he not, after his last idea of a prank had ended so disastrously? “And vengeful. You should be proud of your apprentice, Ren. She might out-darkside you, one day.”

Kylo gives the two of them a derisive look. “You’re – _children._ ”

Rey beams at him. “You lo~ooove us.”

“I’m beginning to rethink it,” he says, dryly.

Kylo Ren wants to scream.

He’s rethought his ideals, his _life plan,_ all because he got caught in the middle of his lovers and their stupid _prank war._

So instead he sulks, caught on the futon in Rey’s quarters with the two of them, only half-listening as Rey and Hux reminisce on the best pranks they’ve pulled on each other yet. He feels strangely empty – the prospect of a child had been one he was willing to take on, but it was all a lie, fabricated for _amusement._

He excuses himself and goes to meditate.

He has a _lot_ of thinking to do.

**Author's Note:**

> So. Um. Yeah. This was my first Reylux. 
> 
> *hides*


End file.
